Sunday, May 20, 2012


Ok, so my ex threw a sex toy party and decided to invite the most volatile mix of women I can imagine. Her friend told everyone at the party how her husband had planned on having sex with my ex until he starting going out with her instead. My ex had still been with me at the time. She told this to an entire party of people including his mom and his sister. Whats also crazy is that his sister was there with her new girlfriend who happens to be the last woman he had sex with before he got married to his current wife. At least now people know why I dont talk to him anymore. Oh and then apparently my ex decided to poke his mom in the face with a dildo to wrap things up. I mean why not. No im not joking. This really happened. This is the insanity that has become my life on a day to day basis. Enjoy the chaos folks

Wednesday, May 16, 2012


So this girl thats a friend of mine broke up with her BF of over a year today because shes certain hes gay. Is it wrong that I find this hilarious? In her defense he did have a habit of giving guys back and face massages and was on a kick ball team. That is pretty damning evidence right there. Funny thing is its not even close to the most ridiculous thing i've seen this  year, lol.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012


Started a new dnd group tonight. Yah, I know its geeky, but at least one of the people playing is an attractive girl. I feel this makes it ok, lol. Fortunately, everything went off without a hitch even though I have almost no prep time as a DM. My best improv yet probably.

Monday, May 14, 2012


Ever have a random bird come flying at you out of no where in your house when you own no birds? You have? Ever manage to get it out of the house to have a 2nd one come flying at you from another room? Didnt think so, wtf?!?

What to do

For the first time in a long time I have no errands to do, no work, and no school. Not really sure what to do, lol. Everyone is working and its a monday. Feel like a tard for complaining about nothing to do. Sound like a girl that says, "Oh no, ive lost sooo much weight". Nap? Sounds like a plan.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Mothers Day

As a father there is usually no more annoying day than mothers day. Never forget mothers day cards.  You will never hear the end of it. My ex is the mother of my kids so of course i have to get something for her from them even though its totally irrational to get an ex a gift.  In summation, mothers day is retarded.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Kids Bday Parties

I dread getting invites to kids bday parties. I do my best to avoid them like the plague, but every now and then someone asks you enough times you cant get out of it. Spent 3 hours today at such an event. Glad I wore my hat. Not so much because it was sunny out, but to prevent me from ripping my hair out. Of course, there is always that one creepy dude there that looks like he might own a white van that says free candy that is way too happy to watch everyones kids.

Kids Bday parties = Needs more liquor

Friday, May 11, 2012

Nothing Important

Pretty slow day. Nothing noteworthy happened. Enjoyed some 420, but thats hardly earth shattering. Why are random weekdays become far more interesting than my friday nights? Oh well, time for more you tube fail vids and George Carlin Quotes

"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."

Thursday, May 10, 2012


Writing blogs is exhausting. Had to take a few days to rest up. Either that or just doing a ton of errands i had backed up. Cleaned up so much I had to add picking up trash bags to my list of crap to do. Spring cleaning I guess? Probably shoulda done it last fall, heh.

Monday, May 7, 2012


Laundry mowed and lawn washed... or something like that. Feel like im a kid doing chores except I dont think I ever did either of those as a kid.

Sunday, May 6, 2012


Continued my sunday ritual of running a DnD game and picking up a dozen donuts for the group. Probably the only way I would get up at 10am on a sunday. Cheers to any fellow DnD players out there in blog land.

Saturday, May 5, 2012


Didnt get a chance to blog yesterday. Ive just fully recovered now from a date I had last night, lol. Dont think I will ever top that one. A reminder to all that when someone invites you over at midnight, you go. :P

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Eventful thursday full of errands, urg. Now watching king of the hell. Cant stand the show. Wish adult swim would just take it off the air already instead of playing 2 damn episodes of it to start its lineup. I have literally messaged them threatening to kill kittens if they didnt take it off the air. They must hate kittens. Backfired. :/

Wednesday, May 2, 2012


Tried 5 guys burgers for the first time ever. Damn good burger. Damn good fries too. I would definitely put them on the same level as fuddruckers. Not sure I will ever be able to go back to fast food crap again.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012


There is only one thing I can think of that can bring not only the greatest of joys and yet also the greatest of fears and greatest of pains. I am speaking of course of...  a flaming bowl of chocolate ice cream.


Long rainy day of doing nothing today. Maybe I should turn this into a blog about how awesome naps are. It seems to be what I am doing the majority of the time :P